27 Oct

This post is dedicated to my little Killian who is turning 4 in a few hours.

Four years of bliss? No!

Of rest? Not in my house!

Of peace? Never! 

I really couldn’t describe in one word what those four years were made of. People who hear me talking about Killian might only think negative things about him. One sure gift that Killian has, is that he manages to bring out the worst in me. Of course, I cannot blame him for my sinful behaviour but he really has perfected the talent of taking me from 0 to 100 in a few seconds. A world record, I tell you.

But there are so many things that I love about him that, on his 4th birthday, and if one day he reads this, I want to share with you (and him) those precious qualities that are worth remembering in the heat of those moments…

I love that the smallest thing can bring him to tears of intense sadness, or tears of joy. This morning, I took him to the toy store to choose his birthday gift. He wanted a plane and so he found one. One where the pilot talks. If you press a button, the pilot says “Yooooooooooouuuuhouuuuu”. He thought it was the most hilarious thing!

I love that sometimes he feels so so sad after he was naughty. And I don’t care if I should or shouldn’t give him special attention at that time, if he needs a big big hug to help him cope with Life, he can get it.

I love that he can defy gravity. His physical abilities have always been impressive and my friend Kerry nicknamed him Kamikaze Killian. But in spite of his fearless personality, he rarely gets hurt.

I love that without Léa, his big sister, he’s lost. She’s his best friend, his accomplice in naughtiness, his teacher and definitely his playmate.

I love that he protects Léa, even from me and my stern rebukes.

I love that he is protective of me, even when I’m only pretending that I’m hurt.

I love that he loves his papa over everything else. When he comes to fetch him after Sunday school, one might think that it was a 4 day-long Sunday school session instead of the normal hour.

I love how he talks using the cutest hand movements, or the shrug of his shoulders to say ‘moi sais pas’ (french for ‘me don’t know’)

I love that he trips over his own feet when he runs ahead of time and space.

I love the way he says ‘ach man’ and ‘oh flip it’ with a french accent.

I love his fascination with swords, sticks (primitive version of swords), (fake) knives and anything in my kitchen that looks like a sword and that is out-of-bounds.

I love that he’s scared to go to his bedroom on his own but he’s willing to take on a baboon, scared of his shadow but chasing big hadidas from our garden.

So he has the lowest levels of frustration… the highest level of hyperactivity… the loudest level of decibels… the strongest level of violence…

But I love him so so much that when someone rejects him, it brings me to all those bad levels!

I remind myself, on the really bad days, that God has given him to me to love, nurture, cherish, discipline and teach.

With God’s strength and wisdom, I have done that for the past four years. 

With God’s strength and wisdom, I’ll keep on doing that for the next fourteen years.

Happy Birthday my out-of-sync child…



  1. inks75 October 29, 2008 at 10:59 am #

    Hey Lis,

    Thank you very much for your kind words!
    Precious moments definitely outweigh the bad ones.
    Much love, I.

  2. Lisa Carter October 29, 2008 at 9:53 am #


    OUT OF SYNC BUT NOT OUT OF LOVE…by Ingrid van Blerk. I see this as a book title in a few years. You have such a beautiful way with words and such a beautiful way with your children. Those moments of joy will surely out-way the moments of anguish. Motherhood, we’ve in it for the long haul.

    Happy Birthday to little Killian and indeed, Daddy Philip.

    Lots of Love
    Lisa, in tears

  3. inks75 October 28, 2008 at 8:17 pm #

    Hey my sweet Suse, thank you so much for your sweetest comment!
    I also so clearly remembered the day he was born, when you guys looked after Lea so kindly!! You’ve done a great job!!
    Hope you’re keeping well…
    Much much love, dear friend, I.

  4. Susan Rockwell October 28, 2008 at 11:25 am #

    Beautiful Inks… you are truly a wonderful mum and an inspiration… this is a gorgeous post. happy birthday to Killian, I remember the day he was born so clearly. May God give you joy, patience and lots of love in the coming years…

  5. Phillip October 28, 2008 at 8:59 am #

    Thanks Hobbit for this post. You know Killian has a very special place in my heart, so reading this has brought me to tears!

    I love you little Killian.
    God has given you a an amazing mom.

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