Fighting club

16 Apr

We had an interesting – amusing, were it not for danger attached to it –  event at Moyo with Killian. Phil complained that I didn’t look relaxed… On outings like this, I always keep a good eye on my kids. On Léa, because I’m always scared that someone will snatch her away (she’s so precious 😉 ), on Matt, because he’s still little and gets easily lost and on Killian, not for his own safety but for the safety of others! Scared for his safety, I am not: you would be a pretty stupid kidnapper if you wanted to take HIM away! 

There are other children in Moyo besides ours and naturally, children want to be with children; but first, boys need to decide who the gang leader is. In most cases, I’m sure it’s decided with an age contest. “I’m 6 so I’m bigger, stronger, older than you” and it’s settled. Killian and Léa were with these two boys (around 7 years old) and a little girl who turned out to be 6. Unfortunately this girl was talking in an unfriendly manner to Killian, convincing him that he should be scared of her brother who is muuuuuch older than her… well well, challenge ticked in my boy’s mind. A few moments later, they had disappeared and that was probably when I looked un-relaxed on my chair, sending Phil for a search!

The rest of the story came at such a pace that only now do I start having a chuckle when I think of it. One of the big boys pushed Killian on the shoulder, in a ‘dare’ kind of way, you know the ‘what-you-gonna-do’ attitude. Had I been there, I would have told the boy that nobody man-handles Killian. I know, I had a good reminder just a couple of weeks ago ( see Miniature Refining Bomb post – by the way, this is a stupid title, I don’t like it at all…). A blend of  high testosterones  and a lack of impulse control led to his response, to the surprise of the other young boy. Three punches in the face later, Killian’s new friend had no doubt as to whether Killian could join their gang or not.

Boys will be boys. They had a fight, they marked their territory, now they can play together. And so they did until we had to leave. I don’t know if Killian was the gang leader but he was definitely not going to be the follower. From his 4 years of age, he made him clear that if you challenge him, you must be sure to win or else.

I enjoy – at times more than others –  seeing the two sides of his personality. He is the most sensitive boy, the one falling over his own feet to go and save Matt from falling, but he’s also the one hitting you if you stand in his way. As a parent, it makes the task complex. On one hand, I know that I don’t want my boy to be a fighter, causing fights and dishing punches out. On the other hand, I like his strong assertiveness, his strength of character. He is a fighter and a leader undoubtedly, coming down the Van Blerk gene pool. As we often ‘joke’, he’ll lead people straight into hell, or  into heaven. I know that only the Lord can give me the patience and show me the wisdom to channel these qualities in the right direction…sigh…

If you’ve seen Ice Age 2, my favourite part (and the kids too) is when the sloth and his friends are in the middle of the ice turned into water. They think they’re about to die when suddenly they see a ray of hope and the sloth exclaims “oh we’re all gonna live!!” then drama, the ray of hope disappears and he exclaims ” oh we’re all gonna die!!”.

When it comes to parenting, this is me. The one moment I think “Oh we’re gonna make it…” and the next “Oh we’re so not gonna make it”.

Thank the Lord for HIS steadfastness…


One Response to “Fighting club”

  1. Phillip April 16, 2009 at 3:20 pm #

    Man, what a sweet, sweet post. You’ve captured the moment well.

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