Butterflies and knots…

24 Jan

Six o’clock, quick footsteps run to the parents’ bedroom. Here stands a small six year old boy, looking very ready and impatient for the next phase of the morning. He’s lucky, his parents are also awake and on the go. They also feel a bit nervous. He looks so handsome in his new uniform. Excitement led him to get dressed, on his own, socks up high and a buttoned shirt, tucked in! His mind is already there, in that new place.

Behind him stands his older sister. She’s only older by 14 months but she’s a good head taller than him. But today, he feels much taller than he really is. Or maybe she feels much smaller than she really is. She can’t quite identify what she’s feeling. What are these strange knots in her tummy and the butterflies in her stomach. Butterflies are fairies in disguise, she says. Would fairies hide in her own body, she ponders…

They both make their way to the kitchen and the little brother is trotting along too, oblivious to the change of routine of that morning. He feels a bit left alone. He doesn’t have fancy clothes. It seems like much ado about nothing. Or isn’t it?

The time has now come. We make our way to the school. So many troubled emotions; if we could hear what goes on in everybody’s mind, it would be a cacophony of deafening laughters, cries and shouting… Children are meant to be in their lines. Lines, she asks? What line?

Some are in the wrong line, others don’t want to be in line.

Some want to be in a different line, others are completely out of line.

If only parents could get out of the lines! Eventually, she finds her own line.

Stressed and worried, and yet somewhat excited, she looks back one last time and waves bravely at her mum who leaves her. Those butterflies are now in her stomach too and the knots are tighter.  Léanna is now officially in Grade 2.

She’s comforted to know, in her heart that He will look after her

There’s no time to linger. She needs to see that impatient little 6 year old boy. He went at once to his class with his dad. Is he still excited? Does he feel overwhelmed? No, he’s there, already at his desk, proudly wearing his little name tag: Killian van Blerk, Grade 1.3.

Could she be a prouder mum at that instant? Probably not. Could he look more confident  and yet vulnerable at the same time? Undoubtedly not. It is time to leave.

She knows that He will look after him too

It was the first day.

5 Responses to “Butterflies and knots…”

  1. Susan Rockwell February 1, 2011 at 5:39 am #

    Hey Inks – such a beautiful post – the photo is wonderful too. I remember so clearly babysitting for Leanna while you were having Killian – yet here they both are such big little people! I hope they settle in well and the start of the year goes well – I will write soon! Love S xx

  2. Ingrid January 26, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Marraine, la rentrée de Matt se passe très bien aussi. Il est a la même école que l’année dernière donc pas de problème, vraiment.

    Zita, you figured it out. Thank you 🙂

    And Kerry, I don’t know… You should see Killian, the same little boy that we couldn’t understand when he spoke, the same one that squealed like a murdered beast (although he still does that, every now and then), you should see him, bag on his back, hands in his pockets and love in his heart. A big boy!!! Tell me about Jesse soon 🙂

  3. Marraine January 25, 2011 at 4:36 pm #

    Merci de ce partage. Killian n’a pas l’air très réjoui; Léana ….. une vrai petite jeune fille !!! Quant à Mat on ne sait pas trop, on verra la rentrée prochaine ??

  4. Zita Consani January 25, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    U really know how to tug at the heartstrings, mere Ingrid!

  5. kerry January 25, 2011 at 5:03 am #

    What the hang happened? When did our two babies grow up? Weren’t we just in labour with them? And wasn’t it just the other day that we alone were awake for the 3am feed? And wasn’t it just yesterday that we learned that stopayne has a binding effect?

    All those years gone in a blink. I feel quite sad and yet happy for them. But overall it’s quite sobering to realise our lives will indeed be over in the blink of an eye. We are indeed like the flowers that are here today and gone tommorrow. It didn’t feel like that when we were 6. But now that I’m an adult, I increasingly see that it’s true.

    OK. I’ll stop now with a this very serious comment on a blog post. 🙂

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