Djokovic vs the rest of the world

25 Jan

Getting married meant – apart from other things –  that I would have to take an interest in various sports. I mean, WATCHING various sports. Being french, soccer would be the obvious choice but living in South Africa, my boer husband is more into rugby. So I had to compromise; so I chose neither. I don’t like watching team sport. I can never remember their names and the colours all look the same so I’m never too sure whether I cheer for the right team or stupidly rooting for the Australians. Blergh.

I do enjoy supporting single players though. Take tennis. I love watching tennis.

Back in the day, I watched Roland Garros. Religiously. As if my life depended on it. It sort of did, considering that for froggies like me, Roland Garros is aka exam time. It is a great way to take a 4 hour break after 20 minutes of hard studying. Don’t judge.

Now, I can safely say that I watch tennis for the luuuve of the game. Over the years, I took great interest in some players. Some more than others.

Federer. Roger is nice. He’s a bit of a super human though. He hardly sweats. He doesn’t get angry. He barely gets thirsty. He dresses better than a Yves Saint Laurent’s fan (that’s no achievement – apologies to all my fashion victim friends) and looks better after a 5 hour match than I do after a 2 hour pamper time! I can’t relate.

Nadal. I’m treading on thin ice here so I’m going to watch my words to avoid any conjugal dispute: Rafaël is Spanish. Apart from paëlla and a lot of ¨, what good has ever come out of Spain? Plus his left arm freaks me out. Can’t his trainer help him with that? Shouldn’t someone give him some dumbbells.  I was ready to give him a chance considering his boyhish charm but his embarrassing video with Shakira ruined it for me. Cringe. I feel for him.

Murray. Oh puuuu- leaze. Don’t make me waste cyber space writing about Murray. Sorry England.

Djokovic. Ah, Djoko. Now that’s someone worth talking about. Let me educate you about Novak.

#1. He comes from Serbia. Serbian people have suffered enough. They deserve Djoko.

#2. Look at his blue eyes. Don’t these blue eyes say ‘Give me a racket?’. He was born to play.

#3. His great personality earned him the portmanteau of Djoker. He does impersonations of other players who, of course, are all his friends (they all want to be him obviously) and he dances – gangnam style. He’s got personality  and ‘personality’, in the words of Samuel L Jackson, ‘goes a long way’.

#4. These crazy australians (no offence australian friends, you aren’t as crazy as the french), somehow, think it’s a good idea to have these guys play at, like, 1am. No jokes. 1am. You know what I like to do at 1am? Let me tell you what I DON”T like to do at 1am: playing tennis. Djoko, he not only plays tennis but he also signs dozen of autographs at the end of the match. If one day, I become famous (for, I don’t know, writing stupid blog posts), I won’t be signing autographs at 1 am. Do not even ask.

#5. Finally,

I mean, isn’t this raw animal energy? How can you not be on his team?!

Sunday, the Australian Open final is on. Djoko, do not disappoint me. Otherwise I’ll have to delete this post that took precious time out of my busy homeschooling time.

(No Education Department, it didn’t…)

8 Responses to “Djokovic vs the rest of the world”

  1. Christelle January 26, 2013 at 8:18 am #

    You will definately become famous for you blogs one day! I love them. You were blessed with the talent of writing.

  2. craigandkerry January 26, 2013 at 5:25 am #

    You ‘re becoming quite the funny blogger 🙂 Craig is totally glued to the TV. Thankfully for us though, the timing of these events happens at a perfectly reasonable time for us in Perth. And I have to agree, “Go Djoker!”

  3. Susan Rockwell January 25, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    So you say you accidently do the wrong thing by cheering for the Aussies in team sports, but I know the truth- you actually want them to win because of super cool friends like me… So you’ve moved to tennis in case your secret is found out… Don’t worry, it is safe with me 🙂
    Oh, and I’m abut of a Federer fan, so if he’s in the final then that will be fun!!!

    • Ingrid January 25, 2013 at 10:15 am #

      What can I say! The Aussies aren’t as bad as the french. Federer is **almost** french so you rooting for him won’t affect our friendship, too much 🙂

  4. Phillip January 25, 2013 at 8:53 am #

    Choose your words carefully? How is what you wrote about Rafa choosing your words carefully? You’re on the couch! 🙂

    Although I must agree about the Shakira video, that was a low in his career 😦

    • Ingrid January 25, 2013 at 9:14 am #

      I’ve read that some people called him “rat monkey”. I was pretty mild on him 🙂

  5. renettepickering January 25, 2013 at 8:51 am #

    whahahaaaaaha! You are hilarious.

    • Ingrid January 25, 2013 at 10:21 am #

      Aw, I also want a portmanteau (how is that for a word, huh!) for my name!!

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